You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
When are your genitals available?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
