You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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