Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
