and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
