STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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