i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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