thus making me awesome and them whores
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
