shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
