i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
