Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
