Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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