You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
