none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
