My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
