No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
