physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
