He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
