Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize