i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
