i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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