babies were throwing up all over the place
I look better un-naked...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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