Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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