dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
