you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
