The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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