Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
