do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
