Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
