This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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