Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It was confusing and full of hummus
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
