Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
