I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
