Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
