ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
