this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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