your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
And then he peed in my hair
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