I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
