she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
