yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
