There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
