So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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