they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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