if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
