life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
