yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
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