you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
