Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
