He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
