Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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