Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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